Student: I’ve lost my cellphone Me: Ok, what does it look like? Student: Well… It’s rectangular… Really? REALLY?! Oh darn, sorry! We’ve only got triangular cellphones in at the moment!
Appropriate responses to the massive box full of lost USBs: “Holy shit! There are so many!” “Goodness, I don’t feel like such an idiot now I know so many people lose their USBs” Inappropriate response: “Mine’s not here… are there any more?” Are you fucking shitting me?
At the end of a particularly long day
Student: Hey, do you know where lost property is? Me: Yep. *go back to my computer*